I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
