So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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