I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
