i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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