I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
