I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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