hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
