we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
