just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
