and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
