Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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