You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
