First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
