nut hugger
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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