i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
