God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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