We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just had sex on a roof
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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