Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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