Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
