everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
