you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
