We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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