dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
