I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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