Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Did I show you my penis last night?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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