at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
