As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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