just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
