i may or may not be watching the land before time
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
