It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
