My first STD was from a foam party
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
