Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
