you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
