4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just high enough for therapy.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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