Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
