So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I am available for nakedness
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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