I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
