do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
