I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
