It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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