i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
