It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
