oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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