she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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