We should be called the Road Head Warriors
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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