I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
