hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
