how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
