I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
handjob tips. give me some.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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