yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
