I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
